The World in the eyes of a Parent

Okay, I may not be a mother now but I do get the idea of taking care of a child because of my two baby brothers. I may not have worked so hard to get them into this world, but I do get the feeling of being so protective of them too.

It is hard being a parent, let alone be a single parent.

When I was a teenager, about 13 or 14, I usually got irritated and mad at my mom (like all teenagers do) when I don’t get to hang out with my friends somewhere, or when she would not allow me to go to school on my own when everyone else was allowed to. I never got the logic before of why she was too overprotective and I usually felt like she never trusted me with absolutely ANYTHING. You know, the typical teen angst thing.

When I finally got into college, she allowed me more and more to go out with friends. She even allowed me – against her will of course cause she had no choice – to commute to school, which was a bus and two jeep (a Philippine public transportation) ride getting there and around 20mins walk. She started giving me responsibilities when it comes to my brothers and that’s around the time that I was starting to understand her decisions before.

Now that I am 21 (ha, I would like to think that I have matured at this point), I finally realised that she’d always trusted ME, it’s the world and the strangers around me that she didn’t trust. She could not bear with the thought that I would get myself into a negative situation and would not be able to defend myself or be back home for that matter. I realised that parents will always, and I mean ALWAYS – EVEN IF YOU ARE 50 YEARS OLD, be worried and be protective of you no matter what. In their point of view, you will always be this precious little thing that is so fragile and so blissful that it makes them this overprotective, sort-of-paranoid detectives that are always on your case. It is what they do.

Because of this upbringing, I also realised that I am always cautious too when traveling from one place to another. It’s funny, to be honest.

I wanted to share this because I got inspired by my mom. I am temporarily in the UK, thousands of miles from her, and she still worries about me even when she has so many things to worry about there. She still tells me to keep several copies of my passport, IDs, and keep emergency cash. She still reminds me to check a place before going and still reminds me to be cautious of my surroundings, AND I AM 21.

So teens, please give your parents a break. I know you do not understand now, but eventually you will. Just try and avoid getting into heated arguments that are not even worth losing your relationship with your parents for.

Love you mom. And I want you to know, I am safe.

That one perfect song..

I finally found the song.

I’ve heard it before somewhere but I cannot, for my life, remember where and today I found it!

I was just looking at random videos and then I felt like listening to La Vie En Rose, and just like that *snaps fingers* it showed up. Waltzed into my life like a sweet sweet bubble gum flavored ice cream on a beautiful breezy summer day on the beach. Magically swept me off my feet. I know, not making any sense right now because I am freaking out over this song.

Will let you decide for yourselves of course. :)

Hope you enjoy!

What are you really scared of?

Edge Of The World by DeviantArt user drakmin (http://drakmin.deviantart.com) under Photography/ People & Portraits/ Fashion Portraits

Sometimes we use the word ‘scared’ lightly because it can pertain to anything, from being scared of spiders to being scared of the dark. There are different levels of being ‘scared.’

I have been thinking about the things that makes me scared – and not in the light, being scared of cockroaches (which I am) by the way. I thought about what makes me terrified – scared that I do not think I can overcome. I wouldn’t say that I am not scared of dying – cause I am. I wouldn’t say that I am not scared of death – cause I am. But what I realized is why I am scared of dying or death. I am terrified of what I would be losing and gaining all at once.

I would be losing the world, the ability to use my senses and be in the world that we know.

I would be losing the physical capability to be around my loved ones.

I would be losing time.

I would be losing the privilege to absorb the beauty of the world.

However, I am most terrified of what comes next..

I do not believe that in death, nothing comes next. I would like to believe that, when one passes – there’s still a next chapter.

So maybe I am scared of not knowing at all?

What about you? What are you scared of?

Over Easter Break: Philippines, Assessments, and A hint of Cough Syrup

As the title above indicates, this post is mostly about my trip back home, the assessments I have to face now, and cough syrup because I am currently sick – which is unusual because I was fine before I arrived back in Chester.

Philippines. Ah yes, home. It was such an amazing feeling to be back home – even for only 10 days. I enjoyed it so much that it was devastating to leave again. Home was still the same, nothing much changed. A couple of new restaurants and hang out places opened up inside our favourite commercial place (BF Homes, Paranaque City). It is packed with restaurants and café’s, tea hubs and juice bars left and right that it is impossible to choose where to go to first. It’s probably a good idea to list all of them and visit each one like a bucket list – that’s how commercial it is, and people (from the south) love it!

So when I went back home, I met up with friends during my first 5 days. Different group of friends for each day, it was fun and exhausting at the same time – not exhausted by the people, but of the travel. Driving around and doing physical activities tire me out quickly (no surprise there, haha). Then my last days during my stay, my family and I went to Subic! We always visit Subic but it never gets old. It’s a nice place to relax and it’s like home. Funny thing about the stay there, I’ve been driving for almost 3 years but never have I gotten in trouble or got a violation, HOWEVER – I got my FIRST EVER violation in Subic, the policeman probably felt bad about me having to line up and pay for a violation I clearly did not know about, so he just gave me a warning. OF ALL THE PLACE I COULD GET A VIOLATION, I could’ve gotten something from Makati where it’s a strict city discipline, but then again traffic laws in Subic are not the same as the traffic laws in the city.

So that was my trip back home. I felt so sad while flying back to Chester. It was a heavy feeling, leaving everyone you love and everything you know for the second time. The first time was exciting because you had no idea whatsoever what was going to happen and what was out there, but now that you’ve gotten that experience, it’s just heavy to leave.

Now onto Assessments. I have two assessments due on April 28 and 29, I think. One presentation on the 27th. Two reaction papers on May, I think. I’m not even keeping track of my deadlines, that’s how much of a student I am. Ha, mom would be so proud (sarcasm). BUT I would like to argue that I’m not really a typical good student. I don’t like working HARD. I like to work when inspired to do so, motivated to actually come up with words and do the work. If you force something, it would all feel so fake and bull. So I am doing it while I’m somewhat motivated. I keep waking up early ever since I arrived to why not take advantage of it.

I went into town to get some books for my International and Global Marketing module. Books on japanese culture because it was difficult to find journal articles and academic reviews on them when it’s so general. While I was walking, some gardeners (I’m assuming), were working on the lawn of the Chester Cathedral. The smell of the freshly cut grass reminded me about the present. Reminded me about the things that inspire me. Little things that do inspire me – which is why I am writing now. If you haven’t noticed already, I have a pattern in writing for my blog – I only do it when I have something to share. Most of the time, I just lack the inspiration to do so these past few months.

I guess that’s it for today, this has become one lengthy post and I wouldn’t want anyone to die of boredom (if anyone is actually reading this – terribly sorry)

What’s a post without a video from Youtube. Enjoy!

Cringe-worthy Memories, you are the BEST.

Today started out quite well. I told myself that starting tomorrow (because I am a procrastinator) that I would get my sh..stuff together, I would create schedules, I would get my body clock running right and have a healthy, balanced lifestyle. It’s something I wanted to do ages ago, but because I am lazy as well (perfect combination huh, procrastinator and a lazy bum, well well) I have’t done it. So I noticed that I do feel like my life lately has been a series of blurred scenes, that’s when I wanted to get my act together. I’m addicted – highly addicted – to watching TV series (I watch 2 seasons in one night, that’s how serious it is) and I sleep at 8AM, which is when other people get up. I don’t know, but it feels so boring to have a routinely schedule of when you have to wake up, go to school or work, do something other than school or work, then sleep. My habit, HOWEVER, has affected my attention in class, how I feel about myself, and how I interact with others (whenever I DO go out because, duh, I’m in my room all day and night – TV series).

Oops. Off-topic, jeez. Ok, back to what I WANTED to share. I went out today to get my *drum roll* ARCTIC MONKEYS SHIRT. FINALLY, it arrived. I was extremely excited about it. Then as I was walking back to the dorm, I realised my mom asked me to check my bank account because she sent my budget for the next two to three weeks again. Afterwards, I had a sudden craving for a coffee from this really hipster, cool, and friendly coffee shop (which I’m not going to name because..well, wait for the rest of the story).

So there I was getting a flat white – and the barista was quite cute too – and I was completely aware of that. When I was about to pay, there were two other guys behind me waiting for their turn to pay for their drinks. Damn they were cute too. So, surrounded by these cute and really attractive guys, the barista (with his accent) was asking me about something. Here’s the really funny part, I DID NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE SAID. And so I asked him to repeat it, but even as he repeated the words, I DID NOT UNDERSTAND IT THE SECOND TIME AROUND. It was so embarrassing because as he gave me my change back he was kind of holding his laughter. Which I kind of laughed as well because why the hell not, you looked stupid anyhow. HAHAHA, so yeah. Oh God I hope I don’t see those guys EVER again.

It was so cringe-worthy that as I was walking back home, I kept cringing and half smiling and thinking to myself what he was asking me! DEAR LORD I NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT MY STUPIDITY. HAHAHAHA

So yeah that’s it. So if you thought something happened to you today, just remember to laugh at yourself in the end. Nothing you could do about it anymore anyway. HAHAHAHA, no but seriously, I want to lock myself up for being so stupid earlier.

So without further ado, I leave you with State Champs’ Critical:

Day 11 and 12: Bruises, Cuts, and First Aid Kits

The title would seem like I have been in a bad situation. However, I was not. I’ll explain it in parts.

Bruises:

I think I’ve mentioned that I joined Volleyball Society here in Chester (yey sports!) and as a result of not being in shape and of not playing the sport for years, I got slight bruises on my arm. The taster was not harsh and not really intense, but what is up with the ball? It was inflated to be like a basketball or something, and I have the type of body that bruise easily.

Cuts:

Being away from home is tough; being away from home with people who KNOWS how to cook is tougher. You might say, oh you could just buy or take out food from restaurants and grocery stores. I would love to do that, not because I do not know how to cook but I sometimes get lazy, BUT it is costly. People tell me not to convert the currency here to the currency back home, but during the first few days – and it might take me weeks – it’s like I’m doing it by habit. And boy, is it expensive here.

So while I was cutting some veggies and meat, I accidentally cut myself. Fortunately, it’s quite small and nothing serious.

First Aid Kits:

Also, I have stocked medicines, band aids, and sanitizers. It’s in my upbringing that we keep a stock of those things. Especially pain killers. Oh my, what would I do without them. Migraines are terrible, but since I’ve arrived here I rarely got them. Back home, I usually get that really really painful-one-side-of-your-brain type of migraine for at least 3 days.

I think that’s about every thing I wanted to share. I’m about to clean my room and do laundry for the rest of the day.

I’ll leave you with some..clean up music? Lol

Cheers!

1. Oxford Comma by Vampire Weekend

2. Buddy Holly by Weezer

3. Stacy’s Mom by Fountains of Wayne

4. Pour Some Sugar On Me (The Maine version)

and finally,

5. She Moves In Her Own Way by The Kooks

Day 10: Trying to keep on track

Second day of classes for the week. We had business dissertation earlier, and like any other module we have, it’s at ‘100mph’ as they call it. I’m still thinking of a topic or a certain area to research on. All I have so far is this: The viability of Coffee Shops (e.g. local, Starbucks, or Costa) in the UK against the viability of Coffee Shops in the Philippines.

I chose to do a comparison for the UK and the Philippines, basically because it’s where I am from. However, I wanted to do something even more specific right now. I just can’t get on the right track or the path that I wanted. I’m still thinking though, any ideas dear friends? I usually run to my guitar for creative thinking. Sadly enough, I wasn’t really capable of bringing my guitar with me – with my huge luggage and hand-carry bag (includes my heavy laptop, camera, and the sort).

Then in the evening, it’s weird for me that they start really late too, we had a taster for Volleyball. I was thinking of joining Swimming but then again, I thought of the weather and temperature here (still not used to it). Bench-warming the bench because – haha – I did not bring my trainers (rubber shoes), not that I had any because a-duh I like wearing my converse when playing. So, I still have to buy one if I really wanted to play.

Well, that’s all I can really share for tonight or in the other parts of the world, today.

I’ll leave you again with another lovely song (maybe I’ll do this out of habit, I don’t know).

Cheers!

Day 7 to 9 (I think): First Day of Class

I keep forgetting to update this on a daily basis, and now I’ve literally forgotten how many days I have to cover, and which day I am on. Anyway, from Friday until Sunday, we obviously did nothing but to walk around the City Centre (again), and bought groceries that are good for a week.

Then, yesterday (which was Sunday), we attended a mass. It was really different from what I’m used to back in the Philippines. However, the ‘church community’ – I’m just guessing they already know each other for quite sometime now, was really friendly and they welcomed us with warm greetings and hand shakes. So overall, it does’t really matter for me how the mass was offered, as long as I was able to give thanks.

Finally, today was our first day of classes. It’s quite difficult to adjust to the method that they have here. It’s all very independent learning but I find it good and effective because it means that you really have to work hard and not expect everything to be spoon-fed to you. I quite like the library in Chester as well because they have a huge collection of useful books – which I’m afraid cannot be accessed in a Philippine Library (we have to work on that *wink*). Being the bookish person that I am, I feel so comfortable inside the Library.

Anyway, that is it for today. I only have one class tomorrow and it’s at 5PM. What am I supposed to do in the morning? Lol.

I’m still adjusting to the time here, because it feels so slow. So, when I go to sleep at 10PM, I keep waking up at 2 or 3 in the morning thinking I’ve had a good 8 hours of sleep already. It feels that long anyway.

I’ll leave you with The Narrative’s lullaby-like song Eyes Closed.

Cheers!

Days 4 – 6: More Shopping..

I got one of those trolleys now because it’s freakin’ hard to go back and forth to the city centre. Now that I got that trolley, I went on a shopping spree at Primark! Haha, impulsive buyer that I am, I bought lots of things but I really DO need them.

I haven’t taken pictures of the town and the sites here, probably because I’ve been too tired to take it all in but when we were resting at a bench, I got to see just how beautiful it is here in Chester. It’s quite old but it has a character of its own – if you know what I mean and if I’m even making sense.

Every time the sun was shining here I was really happy because it reminds me of home. Anyway, here’s what I’ve photographed so far.

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Things from Primark:

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Photos by: © Kashka Lantion; Canon PowerShot SX30 IS

DAY 2 and 3: Shopping til We Dropped

So yesterday, from Manchester, we travelled through Liverpool and saw Liverpool John Lennon Airport (awesome, but I was too tired to take out my camera, and I kept falling asleep at 4 in the afternoon! It’s because of my body clock) and arrived here in Chester! Finally.

So what we did when we arrived here was to buy necessary things such as a duvet for the bed in my dorm, towels, and a couple of ready to eat food. It was such a long walk from the dorm to the City Centre and it was as cold as when we first arrived in Manchester. Jeez. So I have decided that I am getting a bike, once I’ve learned all the traffic rules.

Then today, I continued my shopping. I recently bought two new pair of jeans, a laundry basket, a bath rug, and a blanket. I forgot to buy one yesterday so last night I was FREEZING, even though my windows are closed and we didn’t have air condition in the room. And it’s only autumn here. I’m terrified for winter nights.

Lol, that’s all for today. We’ll be going to a club later tonight, Rosie’s. The Global Guide rep for our group told us it’s one of the best places to go to for a night out.

Cheers!