A Bad Day
When thoughts of all but one,
are those I am keeping.
When sore though there is none,
for whom I am weeping.
A curtain drawn before the sun,
And I wish to go on sleeping.
– Love & Misadventure, Lang Leav
I am mentally exhausted from all the paper work.
Sometimes, it is really tiring to be taking care of every body and carrying what feels like the weight of the world on your shoulders. I love my family, I love my brothers, I love helping people out, God knows I can’t help it, but sometimes it gets too tiring because everybody gets comfortable that you’ll do everything yourself. Who am I to complain? I did this to myself. If only I learn how to stop taking responsibility for everything.
I just feel mentally and physically exhausted balancing school and family. Being the eldest is really a tough job. It requires a lot of attention, a lot of patience, and a lot of understanding. You always have to give way in order for them to be happy. I love doing those things – it’s just really tiring at times, and frustrating. I feel like the youth is being sucked out of me. I feel like a granny already.
I have things that I would like to do as well. Like, be able to finish reading my books, or have a little privacy once in a while, or be able to visit the salon again after three months (cause I must admit, I can feel my hair becoming damaged). I want to have fun, but in my own terms. I know it may sound so whiny but I don’t get to spend an hour alone for my own stress-relieving activity. Whenever I’m alone, it’s because I’m doing school work. I think my only, truly, alone time is when I SLEEP or whenever I’m in the shower – oh no wait, my little brother still bugs me whenever I’m in the shower, little attention seeker, lol.
So yeah, just wanted to let some negative energy out without hurting anyone.
Here’s a song from The Beatles to those who are working so hard, you guys deserve a year long worth of sleep! Lol.